It is difficult to maintain a grip on a spinning world. As the world recently began shifting back from being the longest and sunniest days to an inevitable march into darkness and coldness, I lost my grip for a moment as the velocity changed without me.
Once you’ve met those souls who operate at the edges, moving the world forward just beyond the horizon, it is something you won’t ever be able to shake. Once they let you in on their little club, you will feel every shift. Whether you want to or not. You won’t feel it every day, but there will be days at the beginning and end of seasons where you will wish that you weren’t in the club at all.
I don’t feel it every year, but often right after my birthday on June 24th, I will feel the rhythm, the heat, the buzzing, and then the shift. It’s like the heating or air conditioning turning on or off, but at a global scale. If you’ve never been shown the edge, you may not know what it is, but if you do, it feels you.
Once you are felt, the world moves under you. Not with you. Under you. Around you. Maintaining a grip becomes near impossible. You are better off just going with it and collapsing. It is something that is often physically doable, but mentally it will always take some reconfiguring and standing back up. It is neaer impossible to maintain a grip when the rotation comes to reminds you.
I am thankful I get to remember seeing the edge, and meeting those who dwell there doing the work. I am humbled I still get to experience the shift. Even as painful as it is. I am grateful I still have the strength and experience to stand my mind back up after all these years. I am indebted to being able to live out of sync, living within these moments which are closer to the edge.
