There has been plenty of times in my life where my head has gotten in the way. I experienced an overclocked and racing brain as early as 12 years old. Maybe earlier, but I didn’t have the awareness. It is more than just overthinking something, but seriously spinning out, with my thoughts spinning helplessly out of control. All I can do is just sit there and experience what is happening to me, and wonder what the hell is wrong with me, hoping things will eventually subside and I can get back to living my life.
It took me about 25 years to figure out what was going on in my head and it took another 10 to 15 to figure out a solution to the madness. Reading. Writing. Working with big concepts, systems, and thoughts. My brain was underfed. My brain was bored. Growing up in rural Oregon could not satisfy what was needed to keep my brain on track. Sadly it is a condition that seems like it would be very compatible with the Internet and the amount of information available on the World Wide Web, but it is actually the opposite-—I need deeper and more complex, not just fast and complicated. It isn’t just about more content or information, it is about that information having depth, connection, and purpose in our physical world.
Along the way it is easy to be tempted with drugs, which seem to speak to what your brain needs, but will never quite provide the actual nutrients your brain as well as your body will need to sustain. You can also travel and change up your world on a regular basis to provide a regular flow of new information that will also keep you stimulated, but it won’t last. Popular culture fandom also seems like a solution, providing a sprawling fictional world you can immerse and distract yourself with, but it is just frosting, which when applied on a base cake might sustain you for a while, but by itself it is just a tub of frosting that will make your stomach hurt. Nothing will slow the gears like digesting a real book, or wrapping yourself within a creative project that keeps you occupied.
I look a my family and friends I grew up with, as well as their kids, and it hurts my heart that people don’t realize the importance of school, libraries, and books to our health and well being. So much pain and suffering on my part could have been avoided if I had had the access to books and schooling. I maxed out with what I had available to me and now realize that walls were put up around me to keep me from leaving my hometown, and to keep me from evolving and feeding my brain. I was even told that I was smart, at the same time my options were being limited. I am thankful I have found out how to stay sane, keep my brain busy, and operate at a scope that keeps my brain out of my way, but I am terrified at what is happening wholesale right now when it comes to there being anti-expert, anti-university, and anti-intellectual mindset, which will result in so much pain and suffering and people not realizing that their head is in their own way.
