I love writing. I need to write. But once again I find myself unable to write. Well, I’ve been writing in my notebook, fleshing out some ideas, but I haven’t been publishing anything on any of my domains. This is mostly due to recently recovering being chewed up by the content factory that is expected within tech startups, but it is also the shift in the social media landscape, forcing me to ask the hard questions regarding why I publish stories. I am brutally honest with myself about these things, and I am determined to find my mojo when it comes to telling stories-—I know blogging isn’t as cool as it used to, but personally I find so much value when it comes to writing, I must find my way forward in all of this, in order to survive and thrive.
Don’t get me wrong. I can turn out the content, and only about 1/3 of my writing I am proud of. There is a lot of API blah blah blah on my blogs. This isn’t about the complete body of my work, this is about the core of it, the mojo that keeps me writing and eventually producing stories I am proud of. I have a little over 4000 blog posts on API Evangelist, and about 1500 on Kin Lane, and I want to keep the momentum going, but most importantly the nutrients flowing. I learn so much when writing these stories. The conversations, research, and reading required to produce all of this work pushed me to learn so much, and resulted in some serious growth when it comes to my understanding of the technology, business, and politics of APIs. I don’t want to lose that.
When an idea grabs hold of me it reminds me of watching my Rottweiler chew on one of her toys-—it clearly feels good to gnaw on that thing. I do not enjoy writing just to get other people’s attention, but it clearly is an inevitable aspect of writing. I write to make sense of things. Which I find keeps getting lost in the actual making a living part of my day. People clearly are interested in my stories because I have developed several waves of readership over the years. I have generated a significant amount of interest in my ideas when it comes to API lifecycle and governance within the enterprise. My writing is why I have a job, a career, but I regularly also suffer and freeze up due to the strain of my employment. So, how do I write, nourish myself, pay my bills, and make sense of the world around me without driving my storytelling into the ditch?
As I drive out of the ditch, pause along the side of the highway, and inspect my tires, undercarriage, oil, and fuel levels, I know the answer is just keep going. Just keep writing. I feel like the age of social media is over. At least for me. I am thinking I will share my stories via LinkedIn, and I might light up my Mastodon account again, but I am liking a well curated storytelling garden on my domain, with minimal broadcast to the world. I need to tightly control what flows in and what flows out. I need to write. I need to keep writing. I do need my writing to be read, but I need to keep my knowledge out of the hands of people I feel don’t deserve access, the artificial intelligence zombies, and reaching those I feel are deserving of learning from my work, or my work would benefit from exposure to their world. I think I am getting closer to having my mojo back, and finding my way through this latest slump.
