Kin Lane

You Were Right Kaya

I remember it like it was yesterday, it was was at one of our regular in-person meetings about the online social media work you were doing for me. You had tried to convince me to go on a date with a friend of yours named Audrey several times before. I was a year out of my divorce, and I was sick and tired of the bar scene, being setup on dates, and just seeing people in general. In response, I had assumed an “all business” stance to protect myself emotionally, and to keep me moving in forward motion, and able to get up each day. Once again, I just declined your offer…I was too busy. I am sure she was a very nice woman, but I just didn’t have the time. “Yeah, but I just went to a Gogol Bordelo concert with her, and boy can she shake her ass! You need to meet her!!”, Kaya declared.

Kaya continued to go into great detail about how beautiful this woman was, and described her shaking and writhing to the gypsy punk in a way that definitely got my attention. I can’t recall now if Kaya had known about my music industry past, and that unbridled dancing was something that would light a fire within my soul. Still, I didn’t have the time. I was too busy, and I immediately got back to business. It wasn’t until our next meeting at the High Street Brewery two weeks later, that Kaya’s determination became very clear. She wasn’t giving up so easily. She just brought Audrey with her. I was a little bothered by it at first–this was a business meeting. But, Kaya was also my friend, so I let it slide. Audrey seemed nice enough, and when she got up to use the restroom, I casually checked out her ass, thinking about what Kaya had said about her dancing at the concert–picturing her shaking her booty under the flashing lights.

That was 2009, almost a decade ago. And while I haven’t had you in my life since then, Audrey has been with me almost every day. Then, finally the other day, I had the pleasure of finally going to a Gogol Bordelo show with her, and I got to watch her shake her ass and bounce up and down to some seriously soul moving gypsy punk. I just wanted you to know Kaya–that you were right!! I could hear your voice in my head narrating her every move, shimmy, shake, and bounce. I just want you to know how thankful I am for your persistence and determination when it came to hooking us up. You saw something in the two of us that I was too busy to see. Now, 10 years later I can see that your visions of her dancing were connecting me to my future–to a better version of my life, and of myself.

It all makes for a very heart-wrenching swirl of joy and infinite sadness for me, when I think about what you’ve done. I understand now, why it is you felt the need to take your life a couple weeks after you introduced us. I can still hear your knock at my door, returning the keys to my van after you “ran your errands”. If I’d known what I know now, I would have chased you out the door and held you until you felt better about this world. I am eternally grateful that through all of your pain, you still felt so determined to connect Audrey and I up–one last cosmic task before you said goodbye. I just want you to know how thankful I am for what you did. I just want you to know that you were right. She is amazingly beautiful and sexy. She can shake her ass like nobody else I have encountered. I will think about you throughout our life together, and every time we find ourselves nourishing our souls at a live concert shaking our bodies until they hurt (seriously, getting old is hard). Reminding me that we are alive, and how important for us to continuing living and cherishing this gift we’ve been given!