Kin Lane

I Used To Enjoy Engaging In Debate With Conservatives in My Life

I remember taking pride in my ability to engage in lively debate with my conservative friends and family. It isn’t something I will do anymore going forward, and I do not think that my conservative friends and family grasp the scope of the damage they’ve done to the fabric of our communities. Going well beyond the normal religious, gender, gay, and racial lines they’ve historically stirred the pot with, they’ve jumped the shark, and have escalated their position to a point of no return.

Never in my 47 year life have I declined engaging with a conservative. Never before have I felt like engaging with a conservative was a futile effort. In 2019, I refuse to engage in debate with ANY of my conservative friends. I’m sure they will just proclaim me a snowflake, and put the blame on me, without any regard to the irreparable damage they’ve caused. The primary reason I won’t step up to the table anymore is that they do not deal in any facts anymore, but they’ve also blown out of the water any issue that I used to disagree with them on, but I respected their positioning and stance enough to discuss the issues with them—not anymore.

First, you cannot engage in meaningful debate with someone who deals in conspiracy theories. A little light conspiracy beliefs here and there is one thing, but when it is used as a default for EVERYTHING you disagree with, aren’t educated upon, or straight up as your default position—you are not someone I can sit down with anymore. I’m sorry, but you’ve put yourself into a category of my mentally ill, and drug addicted friends in which I will not accept calls from, visit, or sit down with when they come to town. While imperfect, I enjoy living in reality, partaking in the real world, and working from an evidence based position. I’m sorry you don’t.

Second, your willingness to overlook the historic, systemic, and overt racism that exists, is something I cannot accept. The cat is out of the bag for me. I’ve left our little white community, made friends of color, and looked behind the curtain. I cannot go back. I thought I wasn’t racist. I had no idea it was the way it was—until I left our little white community. Whether you want to admit it or not, it the primary reason you refuse to explore the world, and the primary reason you support the current administration. I wish I could take you on the journey I’ve been on, but that ship sailed many years ago, and you seem perfectly comfortable to stay isolated, and keep your head in the sand when it comes to your racial belief system.

Third, you sold out every single issue I would cede some ground to you on. Religion. You’ve demonstrated that this isn’t about God, Jesus, or your belief—you clearly do not believe as Jesus did. Size of government—you have demonstrated you are fine with big government as long as it works for you, and not me. Role of federal government—you have demonstrated that the role of government is to do anything you want it to do, and has nothing to do with the original mandate of protecting borders, and other blah blah you used to rant about. States rights—again, you clearly demonstrated that states rights was only about protecting backwards ass way of doing things, and you are perfectly fine with the federal government trampling states rights as long as it is your issues. You don’t have any cards left on the table. Go home.

Lastly, your hatred and distrust of women really became clear to me recently. I am not ok living in that world. This was the deal breaker for me in the 2016 election, when the tapes came out. Every woman to come forward since, has just re-enforced my stance. While I refuse to live in your world of lies, conspiracy, and fake news, I will not support a world where women aren’t respected. Period. I don’t care how scared, sad, or hurt your male dominated exists feels to you—that is your fault, and not the fault of women around you. If we are going to begin healing this world, it will require us to begin working here. If we do not respect women, we will never respect ourselves. I just cannot accept that you would be so willing to accept the diminishing of women in this world, when you wouldn’t exist without them.

I know that you won’t read this. I know that it is unlikely that you will come down from your high horse. You think you are right. You aren’t. You are isolated. Entrenched. Being left behind. You are on the wrong side of history. You’ve sold out all of your principles, just because you feel emboldened by a narcissistic, racists, womanizing, individual. I would make some sort of plea for you to wake up, but I understand the depth of your condition, and know better. I fully expect that you will come around in the future at different times, completely unaware of the damage you’ve done to your own world. I shed a tear for you already, and I’ve moved on. I enjoy being sane, stable, healthy, and freely able to move around in a diverse world of beautiful people. I refuse to wallow in isolation with you anymore. There will be no more late night discussions. No more going the distance to meet you half way. I used to enjoy engaging in debate with conservatives in my life, now it just leaves me with an occasional sad thought of a different past, as I get on living and engaging with human beings in this beautiful life I’ve been given.