Writing Here On The Blog Is The Only Way I Have To Work Through Things

I have found my voice. I thought I had a voice before, but I didn’t. I never said what needed to be said. I never shared my mind. I always kept it to myself. I kept it all in my head with the other voices. I was never taught how to speak. I was never taught how to share. I’ve never been in an environment where I can speak my mind. Writing here on my blog(s) is the only way I know to speak out loud, share what is in my head, and speak truth.

Over the last seven years I have practiced speaking. I found that the more I wrote, the better I feel. If I had an idea, and I didn’t write about it, and hit publish to the blog. It didn’t exist. I was bottling it up, and it may never see the light of day. I would walk around for days, or weeks feeling constipated with my ideas and thoughts, until I wrote them down and hit publish. It isn’t about page views, or anyone reading, it is just about speaking. It is about sharing my mind. It is about going to therapy. Working through my mind, unwinding years of being silent.

These stories aren’t about you. These stories are about me. With each story I publish I feel better. After seven years I have my day to day thoughts, anxiety, and stress dealt with, as long as I was publishing. The problem is I still have the past to deal with. I have a LOT of past to deal with. Now I have the tools to deal with it, but I have to do the work. I have to use my voice. I have to write. Hit publish. Write. Hit publish. I’m thankful I have a voice. I finally have a way to work through my thoughts. My past. I have lost a lot, but at least I have my stories.