I Hitchiked 20 Years To Ask You A Question

You were the only person I had to look up to when it came to programming. We spent days working, talking, and exploring the world of compute, before the Internet ever came along. By the time we got the Internet we were already so high. We still played, explored, but it was in its infancy, and we were so, so lost. We couldn’t even make the keys work within hours of being together, were were in another universe, in a separate space. Out of this world. Out of our minds.

Honestly, I don’t remember being the first one to give it to you, but your wife, and your mother told me at your funeral that I did. They wouldn’t turn me in to the police for what we did. For helping you, when you couldn’t do the work yourself. I still have the smell in my nose. You were my brother. I would do it again. Knowing that I was the first to get you hooked would be my sentence. I would be doing life without you. I can’t ask you questions about programming anymore. I had to figure out all the answers for myself. Doing it all alone.

I’m sorry, Manny. I’m sorry I got you hooked. I wish we could go back to Mt. Rose and do it all over again. I wish we could keep programming. We would rock this Internet world together. We’d own this shit. In the last five years I’ve finally have found a handful of folks who I look up to when it comes to programming and software architecture, but it took me 20 years. It was a long and lonely search. I’ve also found a partner who I can talk to about what happened. I have never shared this story with anyone along the way, I just hit the road. Doing what I needed to do.

In the last year I’ve also found my true voice. It is the first time I’ve been able to talk about you. Last summer was the first story, and this is the second. I think that this is how I will be able to resurrect you. Have you along my side again. Telling the stories that I would want to share with you. Talk to you about what I’m building, and the challenges I’m facing. Ask you the questions which I don’t know the answer to. I remember hitchiking 1,000 miles just so I could ask you a question in person. I just hitchiked 20 years so I can ask you a question. I think I’ll keep visiting. Maybe I’ll remember that day I first got you hooked, and who knows what else I’ll remember along the way.